“You don’t get what you want, you get who you are.”
That quote hits like a hammer when you really let it sink in.
Every result you get in life or business can be traced back to one thing: who you’re being. It’s not about grinding harder. It’s not about more strategy, more hustle, more meetings. It’s about being decisive, choosing to move with clarity and power, no matter the chaos around you.
Most people live by the formula:
Do ➝ Have ➝ Be
“If I do more, I’ll have more, and then I’ll be who I want to be.”
But that’s backwards.
The real formula for success is:
Be ➝ Do ➝ Have
If you want better results, you start by becoming the kind of person who makes decisions, not just at the big forks in the road, but in every moment.
Being Decisive Starts with Identity, Not Just Action
Being decisive is not just about making quick choices. It’s about showing up with clarity and conviction, regardless of the situation or stakes. It’s about trusting your ability to gather the right amount of information, synthesize it quickly, and move forward in a meaningful way.
According to Dr. Charles D. Kerns of Pepperdine University, decisive leadership means reaching a desired outcome using the appropriate amount of quality information, translated into actionable plans within a reasonable timeframe. It’s a definition rooted in practice, not theory and it highlights something important: decisiveness is a leadership behavior that integrates information, timing, and execution.
And yet, most of us aren’t taught how to be decisive. We’re trained to seek more data, delay decisions, avoid failure, and wait until we’re “sure.” But decisive leaders aren’t waiting. They’re aligning their thinking, their behavior, and their outcomes through intentional choice.
Why Being Decisive Ripples Through Every Part of Your Life
Think back to a moment where you felt stuck or overwhelmed. Chances are, it wasn’t due to a lack of options, it was a lack of decisiveness. When we don’t decide who we’re being, we end up drifting through our day, reacting instead of leading. We hesitate. We delay. We lose momentum.
But when we choose to be decisive, that energy changes instantly. Instead of asking, “What should I do?” we ask, “Who am I being right now?” That subtle shift is powerful. When you decide to be someone who leads with intention, clarity, and commitment, your actions naturally follow suit. You stop spinning your wheels and start making moves. Decisions come faster, execution becomes cleaner, and your team feels more confident in your leadership.
This inner decision creates a ripple effect. It doesn’t just impact that one choice or that one meeting. It influences the way you enter every room, every conversation, and every challenge. Over time, those ripples shape your results, what you have, in a tangible, measurable way.
The Link Between Leadership, Decisiveness, and Results
In his framework on decisive problem solving, Dr. Kerns outlines the real-world behaviors that define successful leaders. These aren’t abstract theories; they’re practical actions rooted in decades of consulting and executive coaching. Decisive leaders ask the right questions, listen effectively, transfer information into actionable knowledge, and focus their attention on what they can influence. They avoid overreaching or obsessing over external variables they can’t control. Instead, they prioritize clarity and move forward with discipline and focus.
More importantly, they don’t wait for perfect alignment before acting. They act to create alignment. They recognize that time is a resource, and while quality information is essential, excessive data can become a hiding place. Decisive leaders balance both. They know how to frame solutions, build plans, engage others, and pivot when necessary. Their success doesn’t come from luck or speed. It comes from owning the space between information and action.
This is why decisiveness is so deeply tied to leadership. It’s not just a tool, it’s a signal. A signal that says, “I trust myself. I’m ready to move. And I’m accountable for the outcome.”
Decisiveness Is a Practice... But First, It’s a Decision
Decisiveness doesn’t have to start with big moves. In fact, it shouldn’t. It’s best built in the small, everyday choices, choosing what to prioritize, how to spend your time, when to speak up, and what to let go of.
The next time you feel overwhelmed or uncertain, ask yourself one powerful question: “Who am I being right now?”
Then choose to be decisive.
That choice might mean making the call, saying no, setting the boundary, or taking the first step without all the answers. But whatever the action, the real power is in the being. Because when you lead from that space, the decisions you make are aligned with your vision, not your fear.
And over time, you’ll begin to see it: your actions will gain purpose, your outcomes will become more consistent, and your confidence will grow, not because you control everything, but because you’ve mastered what you can control: yourself.
Final Word: Change at the Source Creates Change Downstream
Being decisive isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being powerful in your presence, clear in your thinking, and bold in your movement. When you choose to lead from that place, everything changes.
You begin to trust yourself.
Your team begins to trust you.
And your results begin to align.
So the next time you’re tempted to wait, analyze, or defer… pause.
Make a different choice.
Be decisive.
Everything you want starts from there.
Citations
Kerns, C. D. (2016). Decisive problem solving: A key leadership practice. Journal of Management Policy & Practice, 17(2).